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Writer's pictureKimberly Mahr

Feeling Self-Conscious?

Here Are 12 Tips to Combat Self-Consciousness and Improve Confidence


Feeling self-conscious can be a challenging and debilitating experience. It can prevent you from fully enjoying social situations and pursuing your goals. When you're feeling self-conscious, it can be tough to relax and enjoy yourself; you may feel like you are being judged or that everyone is looking at you. You might also experience anxious thoughts and feelings and physical symptoms such as blushing or sweating.


Self-consciousness can be brought on in specific situations, such as public speaking or meeting new people. It can also indicate an underlying mental health condition, or be brought on or made use with the use of some substances.


Young woman of color wearing an off white, long-sleeve, turtleneck sweater is holding a mirror in her left hand, looking at her refleciton.

Here are some tried and true strategies you can use to alleviate self-consciousness and boost your self-confidence.


1. Practice Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Remember that everyone has moments of self-consciousness. When negative thoughts arise, replace them with self-compassionate statements. Remind yourself that it's normal to feel this way and acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments.


2. Focus on Your Positive Attributes

Shift your attention away from perceived flaws and concentrate on your positive attributes. Make a list of your strengths, talents, and achievements. By recognizing your own worth and unique qualities, you'll feel more confident and secure in yourself.


3. Take Care of Your Physical Health

When you take care of your physical health, you're more likely to feel good about yourself. Engage in regular exercise, eat nutritious meals, and get enough sleep. Prioritizing your well-being can improve your mood, boost your energy levels, and enhance your overall confidence.


4. Dress in a Way that Makes You Feel Comfortable and Confident

The way you dress can significantly impact how you feel. Choose clothing that makes you feel comfortable and confident. Experiment with different styles until you find ones that reflect your personality and make you feel your best. When you feel good about how you look, it's easier to feel less self-conscious.


5. Make Eye Contact.

Eye contact allows us to connect with others, express our emotions, and appear more confident. When we make eye contact, we effectively say, "I see you, and I am paying attention to you." If eye contact is too hard when you are first trying it out, pick a spot just between the person's eyebrows and focus on that... you will appear to be making eye contact with less awkwardness for you.


6. Focus on why you're there.

Sometimes self-consciousness strikes in social settings. If you're at a party, remind yourself that you're there to have fun and meet others. If you're giving a presentation, focus on the fact that you have something valuable to share. It may help to make a list of why you're in the situation (to have fun, meet new people, learn something new) in advance. Keep this list with you and refer to it when you feel self-conscious or anxious about a specific situation. TIP: Try not to overwhelm yourself with all the reasons you're there and pay attention one reason at a time.


7. Practice Deep Breathing and Relaxation Techniques

Deep breathing and relaxation techniques can help calm your mind and reduce self-consciousness in anxiety-inducing situations. Take slow, deep breaths to center yourself and bring your focus back to the present moment. Practicing mindfulness meditation or yoga can also be helpful in reducing self-consciousness.


8. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Pay attention to your internal dialogue and challenge negative thoughts. Question the validity of your negative self-perceptions and replace them with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your accomplishments, strengths, and the times you've successfully overcome challenges. What would you say to a friend facing the same situation? You would likely offer them words of encouragement and remind them of their strengths. You can use the same approach when challenging your negative self-talk.


9. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Surround yourself with people who make you feel accepted and valued for who you are. Avoid spending excessive time with individuals who bring you down or consistently focus on negative aspects. Positive and supportive relationships can provide a valuable boost to your self-confidence.


10. Set Achievable Goals and Celebrate Progress

Setting achievable goals is an excellent way to build self-confidence. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate each milestone along the way. By acknowledging your progress, you'll build confidence and motivation to continue moving forward.


11. Embrace Imperfections

Perfectionism often fuels self-consciousness. Embrace the fact that nobody is perfect, and that includes you. Celebrate your imperfections as part of what makes you unique and strive for self-improvement rather than unattainable perfection.


12. Seek Professional Help if Needed

If self-consciousness significantly impacts your daily life and well-being, seeking support from a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can help you explore underlying issues, develop coping strategies, and work towards building self-confidence.


By implementing these tips and practicing them regularly, you can reduce self-consciousness and start to embrace your true self. Remember, building self-confidence is a journey, so be patient and kind to yourself along the way.

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