There is no denying it: mothering can be tough. Sometimes, being a parent can be so all-consuming that we forget that we need to take care of ourselves and we end up feeling unfulfilled and a little lost.
Maslow’s theory places self-actualization as the pinnacle of all human needs; that is, the internal satisfaction of our achievements can only come once all other needs are satisfied. The ability to feel satisfied with achieving hopes and aspirations is essential to internal happiness. Many mothers feel fulfilled when they see their kids grow in empowerment, love, and compassion. But, while kids can be a huge source of joy, they come with challenges - from schedules to sickness, to lack of sleep, and school woes.
Self-awareness is a fundamental aspect of personal growth and self-fulfillment. It involves delving deep into your inner self to understand your thoughts, emotions, and actions. By cultivating self-awareness, you gain valuable insights into your strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. This heightened level of self-understanding empowers you to make informed decisions and take deliberate actions that align with your true essence.
Developing self-awareness requires a conscious effort to observe and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Journaling can be a powerful tool in this process, allowing you to track patterns, triggers, and recurring themes in your life. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can also help you become more attuned to your inner world and cultivate a sense of presence in the moment.
Furthermore, seeking feedback from others can provide valuable perspectives that enhance your self-awareness. Constructive criticism, when received with an open mind, can shed light on blind spots and areas for improvement. Engaging in meaningful conversations with trusted individuals can also offer fresh insights into your character and behavior.
As you deepen your self-awareness, you may uncover limiting beliefs or negative thought patterns that hold you back from reaching your full potential. By acknowledging and challenging these inner obstacles, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal transformation. Embracing vulnerability and self-compassion along the way can foster a greater sense of authenticity and fulfillment in your life.
Here are nine tips to help you get on-track to cultivating fulfillment while also being a great mom!
1. Notice your moods. Pay attention to your feelings and mood every day, and identify what makes you smile or frown. Once you recognize your feelings, you can cultivate contentment or even happiness inside you.
2. Listen to your inner voice. Two voices speak in your head: one who motivates you, and one who discourages you. Pay attention to the one that says kind, encouraging, and positive things about you.
3. Consume uplifting media. Read inspiring books, listen to empowering podcasts, and watch thought-provoking TEdTalks. We all need regular doses of inspiration to keep our spirits high, and we can find these words in various media sources.
4. Set goals for yourself. Set realistic goals for yourself, allowing you to recognize change and progress. Take time to refelct on what's going well and what can be improved in your life and write down the ways you want it to change. Pick one or two reasonable goals to start with and build on your success from there!
5. Evaluate. Find out where you’re doing well and where you’re underperforming. Once you identify what is missing and what exactly you would like to improve - ask for feedback from those around you to help.
6. Reflect on the life before kids. Think of things that gave you joy before kids; this could be a hobby, a side business, or another interest. Think about how you might incorporate them into your current life. Perhaps take the time to hike each weekend with your children - this allows you to enjoy a hobby while still in “parent” mode!
7. Take action. Now that you have started to identify the root cause of your dissatisfaction, the next step is to put an action plan on it. Address one main point at a time and observe results.
8. Start a gratitude journal. Every day, write down 3-5 things about yourself, your kids, your spouse, or your family every day to remind yourself of your good fortune. These don't have to be biog things - simple things like the smell of your morning coffee can be great to add to your gratitude journal. And, if you can list 3-5 new things every day, at the end of the month you should have at least 90 things for which you're grateful - wow!
9. Give yourself time. Relax when the kids are sleeping, food is prepared, and all chores are complete. You can't pour from an empty pitcher - be sure you're taking time to take care of yourself too!
If you could use a little extra support navigating this season of motherhood, I'd love to help you! Please feel free to click the link below to schedule your free 15-minute telephone consultation.
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